Perineum Sunning: Vitamin D for Your Taint

perineum sunning

If you see your neighbor butt-naked in their backyard, legs raised and spread-eagle to expose their family jewels and waste disposal hole to the glorious sun, do not panic. They are just practicing perineum sunning, a new wellness craze purported to have tremendous health benefits. For those who are not familiar with the perineum, it is the scientific term for that place between the butthole and genitals where the sun never shines.

The “health” craze first gained notice in the latter part of 2019 after posts of several social media influencers about the practice became viral. An Instagram influencer who goes by the name Ra of Earth posted a video of 3 naked men lying on the ground with legs in V-position, exposing their perineum to sunlight. In the video, Ra of Earth annotated the proceedings and explained that “a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on.” The video now has over 71,000 views.

Another influencer, Metaphysical Meagan, also swears by perineum sunning. On Instagram, she posted a photo of herself lying naked on a rock in a “happy baby” yoga pose. In the caption, Meagan shared that she first learned about perineum sunning through her study of Taoism and enumerated the health benefits of the practice such as “strengthens the organs, increases creativity, aids in a healthy libido, regulates the circadian rhythm and promotes deeper sleep.” She also supported Ra of Earth’s claim that 30 seconds of sunlight on the perineum is equivalent to being in the sun all day with your clothes on.

But does any of these perineum sunning claims hold true?

Many medical professionals are not convinced. Most of them will agree that soaking up some sun has amazing health benefits while too much of it can lead to skin cancer and premature aging. Moderate exposure to sunlight can aid in the production of vitamin D (AKA Sunshine Vitamin) which is a crucial ingredient for overall health; protects against inflammation, lowers high blood pressure, helps muscles, improves brain function, and may even protect against cancer.

Purposefully exposing the perineum to sunlight may not be a good idea. Skin in that area is thin and more sensitive to the harmful effects of ultraviolet light than any other skin and therefore highly susceptible to sunburn, which increases the risk of developing melanoma and other skin cancers.

It is also absurd to think that sunning the perineum will help the body produce more vitamin D. The amount of vitamin D produced is based on skin surface area and not believed to be body site-specific. Whether you expose your face or your arms to the sun, you absorb vitamin D systematically and it circulates throughout your body the same way regardless of how it got into you.

Still keen on basking your taint in the sun? It’s up to you. Just make sure you have enough stash of ToppCock Silver Gel to soothe your man bits in case they get fried.

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